T2+Explanation+Writing+Sample

=**Explanation Writing Sample Term 2 2010**=

1.) To do some of my writing independently. 2.) To use a variety of different sentences. ** || 2. Who were their enemies? 3. What did they wear? 4. Who was their first emperor? 5. How big was their empire? |||| Invented = magnetic compass, the stern post rudder, mechanical clock, gun powder, gers and printing. 1st Emperor = Genghis Khan. 3 main enemies = Chinese, Tatars and Slavic Europeans. Clothes = Dels, Applique, Jewelry, Hairstyles and Hats. ||
 * ** My writing is called: How the Ancient Mongolians Lived. **
 * It is an Explanation **
 * My learning goal is
 * **My Questions** |||| **My Research** ||
 * 1. What did they invent?
 * **Planning my Writing** ||
 * L.I. To write an explanation using correct structure and language features.

S.C. 1.) I can see and point out my Title, Statement or Question, Sequence, and Conclusion. 2.) I can identify good use of actions verbs, technical terms, present tense and adverbial phrases. 3.) My writing follows a logical sequence to explain how/why 4.) I have used correct spelling, punctuation and grammar in my explanation. || **Purpose/Audience People who are interested in history.

Content & Ideas** I am going to write about how Ancient Mongolians lived. All of my writing needs to link to how they lived.

Structure/Organisation Statement I wanted to find out what the Ancient Mongolians/Mongols invented, who their enemies were, who their first emperor was, what they wore and how big their empire was.
 * Explanation Sequence
 * Who were Ancient Mongolians
 * Where did they live
 * How did they live
 * Special things about them
 * Title
 * How the Ancient Mongolians Lived**
 * How the Ancient Mongolians Lived**

Explanation The Ancient Mongolians or Mongols were nomads who travelled the Steppes (grasslands) of Asia. They travelled in tribes with weapons, horses, herds of sheep, goats, camels, cattle, horses and their tents. These were made of felt and called Gers and it also gave them the name of the Felt Tent People. Their tents were circular, collapsible, had dirt floors (richer families covered their floors with felt rugs). Most people slept between animal hides on the ground around the fire pit in the centre of the Ger. Some richer families had beds. They took about an hour to pull down and put back up which suited their nomadic lifestyle.

Two of the sources of food were "white foods" which were dairy products like cheese, milk and yogurt and "brown foods" like meats which was the main source of food during the winter. Animals were not killed during the summer. They killed their sheep for meat and also went hunting and sometimes fishing. Meat was eaten with the fingers and the grease form their food was either wiped on the floor, on their clothes or wiped on thier shoes. Mongol shoes were made of cloth and the grease form their food helped keep them soft and comfortable. The people of the Mongolian empire wore clothes in lots of layers. They were colourful and had lots of applique on them. They had different varieties of clothes like dels (looked like a dress tied at the waist), wore jewellery made of bronze and gold, and hats decorated with fur. The mongols didn't believe in washing clothes or themselves. They believed that if they washed themsleves or their clothes they would pollute the water and anger the dragons who controlled the water cycle. For example if the Khan gave some of his clothes, with his smell, to a loyal subject it would be a great honour to not only have his clothes but his smell as well.



Their first emperor was Genghis Khan. He ruled for 22 years (1206-1227). He was born in 1162, became emperor in 1206 and died in 1227, aged 65. Ghenghis Khan in traditional Mongolian writing He ruled over an empire that was four times larger than Alexander the Greats and twice the size of the Roman Empire. He did this by uniting the nomadic tribes of Asia and then started the Mongol Invasions against his enemies such as the Chinese, the Tartars and the Slavic Europeans.



He was a great military leader but he also made the empire great in other ways. He introduced a writing system, legal system, money system and united people of lots of different races. All of the following items were invented in Mongolia such as eyeglasses, seismographs, fireworks and gunpowder, the magnetic compass, gers and printing.

Conclusion Genghis Khan created the biggest empire in history. He wanted to presreve good behavior and good management of self and family. He also wanted to list the customs and traditions of both all Mongol tribes and nations in one place and to help pull them together as one person. ||^  ||  Hemi this is a very detailed explanation about Ancient Mongolians, I can see that you have spent a considerable amount of time doing research and finding out about them. I learnt so much from reading your explanation and looking at your images and maps. Well done Hemi, thank you for completing this and Mum for your support and help :+)
 * ** I achieved my goal because ** ||
 * Teacher Comment **


 * CATEGORY || **Level 1** || **Level 2** || **Level 3** || **Level 4** ||
 * **Purpose & Audience** || I write for myself. I have tried to explain a simple idea. || I know I am writing for an audience. I have explained a simple idea well. || I know I am writing for a an audience and I have made some good choices with my content, language and writing style. || I know I am writing for a an audience and I have made a number of good choices with my content, language and writing style. ||
 * **Structure** || I have some good sentences, most of my facts are written in the order that I learnt them. || I have used simple factual statements about my topic. || I have tried to sequence my explanation it is mostly in a logical order (introduction, body, conclusion). I have used some sectioning or paragraphing and link main ideas together. || I have sequenced my explanation logically (introduction, body, conclusion). I use sectioning or paragraphing and link main ideas together. ||
 * **Ideas & Content** || I have written about my personal experience about what happened or how something works. I have included some statements that are unrelated e.g. I like rocks. || I have identified what happened or how something works using simple language. I have included some statements that are unrelated e.g. I like rocks. || I have clearly identified what happened or how something works. Most of my writing is relevant to my topic. My writing is a straightforward sequence of why/how things happen or work || I have clearly identified what happened or how something works. All of my writing is relevant to my topic. My writing elaborates on ideas and/or includes reasons for why/how things happen or work. ||
 * **Language Features** || I have used some language related to my topic and lots of high frequency words I know. I have used simple, factual and some descriptive language. I have used mostly simple sentences. || I have used some language related to my topic. I have used language to tell how it is or happens but have used present tense. I have used mostly simple and compound sentences with some changes in my sentence beginnings. || I have used language related to my topic. I have used language to tell how it is or happens but have mostly used present tense. I have used a variety of sentence structures, beginnings and lengths for effect. || I have used technical language. I have consistently used precise, descriptive, factual language and correct timeless tense. I have used a variety of sentence structures, beginnings and lengths for effect. ||
 * **Grammar** || I have used mostly simple sentences and some compound sentences. Sometimes it is tricky to read what I have written. || I have mostly used correct grammar with writing simple and compound sentences. || I have used most grammatical conventions correctly when writing simple, compound and some complex sentences. || I have used most grammatical conventions accurately when writing simple, compound and complex sentences. ||
 * **Spelling** || I have attempted to spell words using sounds and patterns, it is hard read some of the words. || I have attempted to spell words using sounds and patterns. || I have spelt most key content words and high frequency words correctly. || I have spelt most key content words and high frequency words correctly. ||
 * **Punctuation** || I do not have very much punctuation and need lots of support/reminding from a buddy or teacher. || I have used some punctuation like capitals and full stops but I need support/reminding from a buddy or teachers. || I have punctuated most of my work by myself using capitals, full stops & commas. || I have used capitals, full stops and commas with consistency. ||